i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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