i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you never un-have a 4some
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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