she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
