Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
