My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Boobs speak an international language.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
