She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
