I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
