Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
