Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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