is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
