i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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