can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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