He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
