I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
