i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
