frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
