btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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