I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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