I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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