you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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