He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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