So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
