And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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