I wish my penis had an off switch
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
