Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
