sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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