Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
