i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
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