You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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