I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
high people should be assigned attendants
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
