just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
