my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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