I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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