I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
