Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
