Whod you bang
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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