I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
