omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
