I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
