I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
