I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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