is your mom at the bar?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
