forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
