i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
