Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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