honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
