Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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