dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
