I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
