Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
