your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
