Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
